#10. You can start any time
January 1, December 31, or any day in between.
There’s a lot of pressure to kick off the new year RIGHT. Resolutions. Desires. Manifestations. VISION BOARDS. The expectation that everything’s going to be DIFFERENT this time!
But that’s not always how it goes.
Sustained change happens over time, not overnight. It’s not like the new year (which, let’s face it, is a completely arbitrary date on a calendar created ages ago!!!!) starts and suddenly I’m a different person. I can set intentions to change, yes, but that change will not happen the moment the confetti cannon goes off.
I can start any time. YOU can start any time. January 1. Today. Next week. In seven months. I can start, and, even if I stop, I can always start again. There are no rules, and there’s no need for me to put unnecessary pressure on myself to achieve, perform, or deliver on others’ expectations…or even my own. I can hold myself to some standards, but I can’t be harsh with myself if I don’t reach them. What matters is my peace of mind, doing things that bring me joy, taking small steps that ladder up to achieving whatever bigger goal I might set.
Take this newsletter, for example. I started with the intention to publish every week. It felt like too much, so I switched to every two weeks. I wrote a newsletter to go out before I flew to the US, and when I went to publish, the Substack server was down, and since I decided to leave my laptop at home in Paris while I visited my family in the US, the newsletter didn’t go out - for a month!
That’s life sometimes. And luckily, I do this for fun, so I had the flexibility to adapt. Not everyone has that luxury, I know, and while it’s good to be consistent in order to make a change, missing a week or three doesn’t make a huge difference in the grand scheme of life. I want to do it, I LIKE doing it, so I came back to it. And now I can work on cultivating consistency.
What I have found, and what I practice daily, is that the more I do something that I enjoy, the more I want to do it.
I intended to write every day, I’ve done it for a few months (vis-à-vis “The Artist’s Way”), and I plan to keep doing it every day — unless I don’t feel like it one day. I intended to do yoga every day, I’ve done every day it for over a year, and I plan to keep doing it every day — unless I don’t feel like it one day. I intended to walk 10k steps every day, and I’ve had some pretty good streaks, but some days, I don’t feel like it. And so I rest. And that’s OK.
I do things I like to do, as often as I want, until they aren’t fun anymore, aren’t bringing me any joy, aren’t serving me. Then I find something else to do. If I want to. No pressure.
My point is that starting January 1 doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t make anyone more likely to keep going with a goal they’ve set (though mentally, I understand the appeal of starting something on the 1st of the month or fresh in a new year), no more than if they start on the 12th or the 28th of the month. There’s no rule that says if your vision board isn’t done by January 1, your manifestations won’t come true!
In fact, I saw something online recently that said it’s a bit unnatural to set goals in the middle of (northern hemisphere) winter, hibernation season. Wait till spring, if you feel like it, when the flowers bloom, animals come out of hibernation, leaves start growing back on trees. Your goals aren’t going anywhere. You can start any time.
Trois Deux Un
Trois favorite photos from the last month
This was so hard since I haven’t done a newsletter in a while! Come follow me on Instagram for more Paris pictures.
Deux recommendations
“Cloud Cuckoo Land” by Anthony Doerr (who also write “All the Light We Cannot See”). I devoured this book, starting on the plane to the US, and was completely enthralled several pages in. I only put it down to eat. I read a bit every day while I was in the US, and when I got home to Paris, chose reading it for two hours over taking a nap. THAT’S how good it is. Think interwoven storylines across many different time periods and beautiful writing that holds your heart and doesn’t let it go. I can’t stop thinking about this book!
Trust yourself. Often. Always. YOU know best. I remind friends of this from time to time, when they might come to me for advice, but why is it so hard to remind myself of this? It takes practice. It takes stumbling. It takes moments of doubt that need to be pushed through to self-trust. The inner critic might always be there, but how can we use it to our advantage rather than for self-flagellation? Mistakes happen. Make them, admit to them, and move on. You can trust yourself to do the right thing. You don’t need any external validation.
Un thing that made me happy in the last month
Spending time with my nephew. He’s two years old and every time I see him, he knows more words, can sing more letters in the alphabet, has a new interest (dinosaurs!). We FaceTime a lot, but spending real-life, quality time with him brings me so. much. joy. He reminds me that playing is fun! Curiosity is a lifelong skill! Crying for no reason is necessary (sometimes)! And running around is a great way to expend energy!
Wishing you all a happy, healthy 2023, crushing whatever goals you set (or not!).